This is my first blog, perhaps it will be the start to something therapeutic, or perhaps it will be another short lived hobby. I obviously hope for the therapy lord knows I could use it right now as I have been going through maybe the worst couple weeks of my life. It all started with a cracker believe it or not, just a simple slightly salted Ritz cracker. I was standing by my fridge and decided for a relatively healthy snack a lightly salted peanut butter covered Ritz cracker. I went ahead took a bite, and to my astonishment a sharp pain hit the right side of my jaw, forcing me to stop eating immediately. Little did I know that little cracker would change my life up until this moment and possibly forever.
See, after I took that bite of that cracker my jaw started clicking, popping and even for a few days locking. It scared and still scares the living crap out of me. So the first place I went was the internet, not a good idea. Simply put the internet is every anxious persons worst nightmare whether you have a cough or a splinter if you head to the internet as a nervous or anxious person you will only find answers that will ruin your day to say the least. Everything I found, did nothing but spin me into an anxiety attack that I wouldn't wish upon anybody. I have always suffered from anxiety, it has caused me lots of problems in life from lashing out at people I love for no reason to taking me away from school. And if you have anxiety you understand that the last thing in the world I ever wanted to do was go to a doctor, so I never did I always found a way out of it. My parents did get me to some doctors as a child, but fearing I had massive problems once I was there I would down play everything. Knowing deep down nothing I said was true.
Well, that little back story takes me back to this problem I am having with my jaw, and the internet induced fear and anxiety I find myself with. No matter how irrational I know the problems I have been dealing with are it never has stopped the feeling inside that I can't control. So I broke, I went to the doctor and he prescribed me Xanax the first ever medication I have had to deal with this life time anxiety problem. Not only that he was able to tell me some things about my jaw that I did not see online that helped a lot none more important than the condition I am dealing with only gets worse with... You guessed it stress and anxiety, and that most people at some point deal with this jaw problem and it goes away after time. I can't say that my jaw is better and that alone of course scares me, it still clicks in fact while writing this I had to pause because I move my jaw back and it did it again. I can however tell you the Xanax has changed my life for the better. I don't take it everyday only when things feel like they are to much, and that has only been twice since prescribed. But it has been a whole new world to be able to control those moments and not feel like I just need to get to my room and seclude myself in my bed.